


Bound by the ocean

by pomidor



Category: Chronicles of Narnia (Movies), Chronicles of Narnia - All Media Types
Genre: M/M, Poor Caspian, he found himself a feisty one, impatient boys, no respect for traditional values
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2018-02-16
Packaged: 2019-02-16 20:23:32
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 9,879
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13061484
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pomidor/pseuds/pomidor
Summary: It is against Telmarine tradition to sleep with your betrothed before marriage. Edmund is definitely against that particular tradition.





	1. Chapter 1

It was strange to live in a castle again. Edmund had spent so much time at sea that the unmoving floor made him feel uneasy, the overabundance of food confused and the soft bed was almost impossible to sleep in. He saw that in Caspian also, in the way he treaded the floor as if it would betray him and by the bags under his eyes. When outside, he almost always tried to find the sea. At night Edmund knew, he felt the same loneliness, not being able to feel the presence of another person in the hammock across from him.

It would be much easier to just sleep in the same room, Edmund told that to Caspian already, but unfortunately the king did not share his opinion. Edmund did not mean to say they should sleep in one bed (though that would be preferable), but Caspian was worried about the rumors. This infuriated Edmund, because who cared? They would share each other’s bed, hopefully, for the rest of their lives, what difference did it make if they started a bit earlier. Here, again, his stubborn betrothed refused, instructing him to have more patience. It frustrated Edmund even more. How come was he the only one burning up just thinking about Caspian? It made him gloomy, thinking that Caspian may not feel the same desire. Edmund did not doubt his love, he felt it with every look his intended gave him, with every smallest touch of their hands.

It was not that Caspian refused him affection, even now they held hands, sitting in the garden, in an unusually calm moment that did not involve any planning or meetings, which took most of their time. He was warm towards Edmund, but he never seemed to want to go further. Edmund could count on his hands the number of times Caspian initiated a kiss.

He often returned back with his thoughts to that day. When he decided to stay in Narnia.

_He held Caspian in his arms, not ready to let go, not now, not ever. He was, however, aware of his sister, Eustace and Aslan waiting for him to move, so he willed himself to put distance between their bodies. So soon the distance would grow to be impossible, both of them in other worlds, destined to never meet again. He had to cross that border fast, so he hurried in the direction of the water. A shout stopped him._

_“Wait!” It was Lucy._

_He looked back at her and saw that she was holding back sobs, tears streaming down her lovely face._

_“You must stay.”_

_“Lucy, what are you saying?”_

_“Edmund,” she approached him, taking his hand in hers and bringing him further from the edge._

_Edmund did not know what she was doing until he stood before Caspian again. She reached for the king’s hand as well, and connected them. At that moment Edmund realized she was going to say what he himself was unable to put into words._

_“You love him. I know this, because I know you, and I know that if you leave now, you will never recover from this. It breaks my heart to part with you, but it will break my heart more if I have to see you unhappy.”_

_He took a deep breath and looked into Caspian’s eyes, fearing what his reaction might be. He needn’t have worried. He saw sparks of feeling before, but they were too well hidden to truly be sure. Now, Caspian did not try to cover them, he looked at Edmund with undeniable love and with something more, something that Edmund recognized as hope._

_“Can I even do that? Can I stay?” he looked at Aslan, unsure of the answer._

_“The choice belongs to you, but know this; if you stay now, you will never come back to your world.”_

_He looked at Lucy, smiling through her tears. He would never see his family again. He would never talk with her again._

_“Edmund, however far we are, I am always with you.”_

_He let go of Caspian’s hand to embrace her._

_“Tell everyone I love them. Tell everyone that I am happy and I wish all of you happiness.”_

_He squeezed her hard and she, even harder. Lucy was the sole reason he even met Caspian, the reason they found Narnia, that he found home. She was a miracle and he trusted her judgment on this._

_Letting go of her was easier than letting go of Caspian, because he knew that their connection would never die, that they had their own ways to go, and sooner or later, they had to part._

_When he said his goodbyes to everyone and he was left with only Caspian in the boat, he started to realize the problems that could follow his decision._

_“Caspian, is that even allowed?”_

_“Is what allowed?”_

_“We are both men. In the world I come from this is considered a sin. The Narnians will be fine with it, in many races it is common, even preferable, to choose a partner of the same gender. But what about the Telmarines?”_   
_Caspian stopped rowing and put the rows safely on the boat._

_“To be honest, in our tradition it is not seen as something bad but it is not encouraged either. A pair like that cannot produce an hair. Such relationships are often kept quiet.”_

_“So, do we hide it?”_

_“No!” Caspian denied hurriedly._

_He calmed down quickly and put his hands atop Edmund’s own. Edmund turned them palms up so that they could properly hold hands._

_“I do not wish to hide my feelings for you. We live by Narnian law, and my people must accept this. There is a risk, but I am ready to face it, if you are also.”_

_Edmund leaned forward and connected their lips, smiling into the kiss._

_“Even if I wanted to, I couldn’t hide this.”_

Thankfully, the people accepted it, not without some exceptions, but they were smoothed out by the voices of the rest. The Narnians were delighted to have the legendary King Edmund as their ruler again. Everything was perfect. If not for that one little thing. Apparently, in Telmarine tradition it was considered disgraceful to sleep with your beloved before marriage.

Edmund was sure it was as much bullshit as it was in England, a tale told to children, a lie young people told their parents, but Caspian for some reason treated it very seriously. Were they not supposed to live by Narnian law? Narnians saw nothing wrong with sleeping together unmarried, many of them never married at all.

Edmund saw marriage as something unnecessary. Why should they have somebody’s permission to be with each other forever? It was Edmund’s plan anyway, it did not matter what some official said. If Caspian wanted it to be official, fine, it did not change anything in Edmund’s eyes, and maybe he could at least be allowed to touch.

He knew he was being rash, irrational even. Who could blame him? Six months passed since the day he found out his feelings were reciprocated. He was happy, ecstatic even, that he could spend with Caspian his every day. It was hard, however, to look into Caspian’s dark eyes and not go crazy with how much he wanted. Caspian was way more attractive than Edmund had the power to resist. He never imagined he would find a partner so overwhelmingly out of this world.

It wasn’t that he didn’t love to just listen to Caspian voice, to hear his thoughts, to fight with him, to spend time with him. He just wanted to have whole of Caspian to himself, and maybe it made him greedy, but he always had a problem with refusing himself what he wanted. Sometimes with horrible consequences.

He looked at Caspian’s calm face. The king was not looking at him, staring far in the direction of the ocean. Edmund could almost feel the breeze and hear the waves from Caspian’s thoughts alone.

He leaned closer slowly, quietly, and when Caspian noticed him, Edmund was already a centimeter from his face. The king closed his eyes, allowing Edmund to kiss him. Their kisses made Edmund feel a bit as if he died, as if there was nothing else but this feeling. It wasn’t hurried but it was intense. Caspian opened his lips and their tongues touched. They did not fight for control, it was a steady push and pull, like the waves rocking a ship. Edmund put his hand on Caspian’s chest, his heart echoed his own’s insane rhythm. The other he kept in Caspian’s hair, massaging the back of his neck lightly.

Caspian rarely allowed their kisses to last this long, breaking them and connecting their foreheads instead. This time they almost ran out of breath. It is Edmund who breaks the kiss and when he opens his eyes he is taken aback by the way Caspian looks at him. His eyes are always dark, but from this close Edmund can tell his pupils are blown wide. He keeps looking at Edmund’s lips and after a while he leans in again covering them with his own. This time it is rougher, more hurried. Edmund feels like he is catching on fire.

It’s dirty, the way they move their mouths together. Caspian clearly forgets himself, letting out a moan that makes Edmund use the hand on Caspian’s chest to push him down onto the grass. It is late, the garden is empty and Caspian’s eyes reflect the stars above them. He lets Edmund kiss his neck, even holds his head down.

Edmund is not one to waste such an opportunity. He bites the neck lightly making Caspian shiver and distracting him from the slow descend of his hand across his chest and stomach.

He clearly underestimated Caspian’s ability to focus, because as soon as he gets to his trousers his hand is caught by the wrist. He bites Caspian’s neck harder just to be spiteful.

“Ah, Edmund, wait.”

By the way Caspian sounds he doesn’t have much more self-control left. Ed wants to try his luck, but Caspian shifts them so that Edmund is now laying down on the grass with Caspian above him. It is not any less of a welcome position, if only Edmund’s hands were not held firmly above his head.

“God, you’re killing me right now.” Edmund murmurs and Caspian has the audacity to smirk.

“Come on, I know a good way to –“ he looks down on the place where Edmund’s dick is tenting his trousers “cool down a bit.”  
“Really” Edmund gets his leg up, moving it against Caspian’s similarly tented crotch “It so happens that I do, too.”

He knows the fight is already lost so he does not protest when Caspian removes himself, and offers Edmund a hand to help him stand up.

Caspian’s solution is, unsurprisingly, a duel, though Edmund does not know how it’s supposed to help them ‘cool down’. If anything the closeness, and the animalistic look in Caspian’s eyes make him want even more.


	2. Chapter 2

Edmund is not creepily following his boyfriend around the castle. _He is not_. He just happened to stumble upon the conversation by accident, and being the great partner that he is, he decided not to intrude. If he happened to hear his name while passing by, well, that’s got nothing to do with it.

 

“It’s wearing on me, Cornelius. Being so close to Edmund all the time, and he is not helping. I’m trying to be patient, like you advised, but I don’t know if it’s such a good idea.”

 

“Postponing the wedding was wise, Caspian. I am glad you listened to me, even with your reservations.”

 

“I don’t think Edmund would agree with you on that one. I told him it was because of the matters of the state and he agreed but … Telmarine traditions and my own reservations seem unfounded to him. I fear that I’m being swept away by his … reasoning.”

 

Cornelius chuckled.

 

“You are young, Caspian, and you have little experience with such feelings. Edmund is even younger than you, in boys of that age love is intense and listens to no reason. That is why I advised you to wait until you two calm down a little. Marriage is a big step and I do not want you to rush into it.”

 

Edmund heard enough. He planned to get away unnoticed but in that moment a guard saw him and greeted him loud enough for everyone to hear. The door opened fully and he met Caspian’s eyes. He did not wait for Caspian to finish saying his name, knowing the king will follow him anyway.

 

He did not even manage to close the door to his chamber before Caspian was upon him. He tried to catch Edmund’s arm, but Edmund was faster. He turned around and almost caused the king to lose his balance.

 

“Matters of state, huh? I could have figured.”

 

“Edmund, please, let me explain –“

 

“Oh, of course you’re going to explain. No doubt in the words of your very wise master. Does he have to decide for you when you get married? Even though you are the ruler of this country!”

 

“Edmund –“

 

“Maybe you don’t even want to marry me! Maybe I would not even thought about it if it weren’t for the fact that _you_ proposed to me!”

 

Edmund saw that his words felt like a slap to the face for Caspian, but he didn’t care. He wanted his betrothed to hurt as much as he did. Caspian, however, managed to conceal his pain quickly, wearing the face of the reasonable one.

 

“Edmund, I would not have asked you to marry me if I did not truly want it. In fact, I think that in my haste to do so, I moved things along too quickly for you. I noticed it only when Cornelius pointed it out.”

 

“Too quickly for _me_? You are the one who postponed the wedding! Did you ever think about maybe asking for my opinion? How am I the one that slows this whole process down?”

 

“Edmund, you’re seventeen.”

 

Their breaths sounded heavily in the chamber. Edmund could see from the expression on the other man’s face Caspian knew how much of a mistake he made by uttering that sentence.

 

“Oh, so that’s it? You are so much more mature than me because of the eight years between us. Am I just a child then? Did I leave my world, my family, for a man that might be just a passing fancy, an infatuation of a school-boy? Tell me, is that what you think?”

 

“Edmund, stop it! I do not doubt your love nor your loyalty to me. And I do not think myself more mature and certainly not wiser than you. It is the reason I asked Cornelius for advice. We are both young, both inexperienced. I do not wish to move things along at a faster pace than they should naturally go.”

 

“What does it matter if we are young? I plan to be with you all my life, who cares about pace? We are going to be married anyway, more time is not going to change my decision. Why should we wait if we both want it?”

 

“For everything there is a right time, Edmund. Shouldn’t we enjoy this stage of our relationship before casting it away? Besides, you wouldn’t even care about marriage if not for…” Caspian stopped himself, realizing that he was making a mistake again.

 

“For what, Caspian? You want to say that I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for the fact I cannot fuck you until we’re married?”

 

Caspian flinched at the profanity. His eyes were downcast and he didn’t answer.

 

“You know what?” Edmund was sure he was making a very ugly face while talking now “You’re right! I do not care about marriage. It doesn’t matter for me that someone pronounces publicly that we belong to each other. I don’t need anybody’s permission to love you, to touch you and call you mine. Anybody’s but yours! But if you need that for me to have you, I am willing to marry you a thousand times!”   

 

Caspian’s face was very definitely red, but Edmund could say, that, differently from his, it was not from anger, but from embarrassment. His voice sounded quieter when he answered.

 

“Why is it so important to you?”

 

Edmund adjusted his voice a little. He was tired of all the shouting.

 

“Because I want you. I want to know everything about you, as much your mind as body. I am willing to accept your traditions even though I do not fully understand them. Why than are you still hesitating? I want to understand. Please help me understand. Do you not desire me?”

 

Caspian looked into his eyes at last.

 

“Oh, Ed, of course I do.”

 

“Then why?”

 

Caspian opened his mouth, but no sound came out. From his eyes Edmund could read that he didn’t know what to say.

 

Edmund sighed.

 

“If you had told me that you are not ready to sleep with me, I would understand. If you had told me you are not ready to marry me, I would accept that also. But I cannot understand why you are keeping secrets from me, doing things behind my back. I have enough of arguing with you today. Please, leave my room.”

 

Caspian’s eyes showed how hurt he was and it almost made Edmund call him back, but his own pain was enough to stop it. His beloved left the room with the quietest of goodnights on his lips.

 

Edmund landed heavily on his bed, thoughts about Caspian making his head swirl and his heart ache.

 

_When Edmund visited Narnia for the second time, he already knew he preferred boys over girls. Looking at Caspian for the first time was indeed something, for he never saw a person quite so beautiful. That was, however, just a passing thought, a pretty face was just a pretty face, nothing more. Of course, Caspian was an interesting arrival in and on himself for the fact that he was a prince of a kingdom that despised Narnians, and yet he was helping them, wanting to unite the races. Edmund was cautious with strangers and so he observed him, more or less from the sidelines. He was probably the one that interacted with Caspian the least and yet from a day spend with him he could already say two things: Caspian was totally hot for Susan and he was also very similar to Peter. Form the time he saw them fighting he began noticing how stubborn they both were, how strong, how blind in their rage. Later he also saw the things he loved about his brother; his protective nature, his bravery, his morality. Peter was always a perfect knight, and Edmund thought about them as being more or less the same figure in the eyes of both their people and his own. Their struggle for dominance was only natural, even if stupidly childish. When they shouted at each other, he saw two boys fighting for the attention of their peers. It was tiring to see a copy of his brother, one of those was enough. Even irritated, he could see that they both had a royal air around them, one a natural born king, the other destined to rule by blood and education._

_First differences between them he noticed while observing Caspian interact with others, especially with his sisters and himself. Peter had a way of assuming a higher position wherever he was, something that pissed Edmund off while they were children, and what he learned to accept while they ruled Narnia. Peter was the eldest child, so he always felt responsible, always the first adults turned to in important matters. He was protective of his sibling, yes, but the way he showed it could seem condescending at times. His smug remarks made him look as if he thought himself better, and, especially with his siblings, he seemed to think them weaker, even though Susan ended more beings with her bow than he ever did with a sword._

_Caspian did not give that impression. He was gentle with everyone, except Peter, which could be seen while he talked with Susan and Lucy. He was protective of them, but he never seemed to insinuate that he thought them weaker. He always valued their opinions on matters that many thought were not a domain of women. Edmund thought that maybe he considered them special, they were legends after all, not mere children. He abandoned that thought when looking closer at the way Caspian treated everyone, from the smallest to the biggest member of their army. It was not only the respect Peter gave them, Caspian seemed to place himself truly on their level. He acquired the sympathy and trust of everyone, just like his brother, but his brother didn’t have to try to do it. Narnians followed him of their own accord. Now, Caspian didn’t have to try, but he seemed unaware of the fact, and did what Edmund liked to do. He observed. After that he chose the best approach. Edmund was surprised when his methods proved successful even against himself. Even though Edmund was acting neutral towards the prince, Caspian found ways to fit in between the gaps. They didn’t spend much time together, but when they did, Caspian never pushed him. He seemed perfectly satisfied to sit with Edmund even in silence. He discussed the matters of war seriously with him, answering Edmund’s suggestions with his own, never weighting his words over the other’s. He explained Telmarine culture diligently when asked. He laughed honestly when Edmund felt comfortable enough to make jokes with him. That’s when he started to think that maybe Caspian was indeed more like Edmund himself._

_He was wrong about that too, though he only realized it when Caspian didn’t kill his uncle. He saw the contrast clearly as day, because he knew that if given the choice to kill a person that murdered his father and haunted him like a dog only to ensure his own power, he would definitely not spare that person. It was good to be merciful at times, but it would only be just to kill Miraz at that moment. Edmund did not posses a heart able to be so forgiving, didn’t think it wise to forgive this easily. And yet, he felt proud somehow, looking at the tears that Caspian was too tired to cover. He reminded him in that moment of the only person who he knew had such a loving heart. He reminded him of Lucy. To think someone was like Lucy was indeed the highest praise he could give any man._

_He only really recognized Caspian as his own person, as a completely unique and remarkable being, when they met Aslan. Hearing Caspian say the words “I do not think I am ready” made him look at the prince with wonder. This was a boy that fought an enormous battle with impossible odds and won, a boy that spared the life of someone that destroyed his, a person that everyone saw as their leader. How could he be this humble after all he has accomplished? Edmund stared at him, wanting desperately to see how this man’s mind worked. He stared so hard that Caspian upon looking at him averted his own gaze._

_Edmund desired to watch Caspian rebuild Narnia, but yet again the time came for his family to return home, this time sooner than he expected. He watched Caspian and Susan kiss with disinterest, already knowing how fast his sister will forget about him. He knew Susan well, he considered her the smartest of them. She needed this love to move forward, but she would not be the one left hurting after losing it. One look at Caspian told him it was not quite the case for the new king. He pitied him, and that was the feeling he said goodbye to him with._

_Pity was not the feeling that he felt upon their next meeting. More years passed for Caspian than for them and he was a man now. A proper king for his people. Under the happiness that Edmund felt because of their meeting, there was hidden an uglier feeling. Edmund recognized it instantly. It was the same feeling that he got while thinking about Peter and Susan, who lived as adults in America. The feeling was envy. Even if, in this world, he was somebody, an ancient king, Caspian was still the ruler of this Narnia. Even if in here people didn’t look at him as if he was a naïve, empty-headed child, he was still much younger than Caspian, and there was no way to change that. There was a barrier between them, one that Caspian didn’t notice, but that Edmund saw. He ignored the feeling, but it was growing stronger with every order he could not give, with every word that Caspian uttered and the crew instantly listened to._

_He felt joy while fighting with Caspian, but more than that, he felt envy. While Caspian was much taller and older than him, he was more or less the same when it came to physical strength. Edmund was technically better in terms of swordsmanship, and yet he was unable to gain an upper hand. He could predict Caspian’s moves, but he could not stop them completely. Edmund realized what it was the moment he felt the steel of the sword on his throat: Caspian was simply faster. Edmund was fast, but he had to think about his next move. Caspian’s body seemed to move on its own. The predatory look of his eyes, the smug smile he wore so close to Edmund, completely ignoring the sword on his chest just waiting to split him in two, made Edmund want to fight him without end, to push him to a point when he didn’t have the strength to smile so temptingly._

_It was weird, how strikingly handsome everything about Caspian was. Even when the king slept, even with his face scrunched because of nightmares, he looked so damn pretty. This time, Edmund had a problem with disregarding it as ‘just another pretty face’. He could not help but notice how dark Caspian’s eyes were, how soft his wind-teased hair, how well his body looked in sailor robes._

_He tried to bury those feelings, but there was always a sort of underlying tension between them. He spend most of his time with Caspian, and he was probably the closest friend Edmund ever had the pleasure of knowing. They talked about everything and nothing and the thought of not being next to him was unimaginable. This bond they were creating was different from before, more mature, deeper. Edmund once again found himself wanting to understand Caspian, but this time he was given an opportunity. The king opened himself to him in ways no one ever did before. Even the green mists, even the struggle for dominance between them, or Edmund’s lust for power, could not destroy the building connection._

_And Edmund did desire power, he wanted it since he remembered, since the first time he was in Narnia. The Witch’s face came to taunt him about it. His lust and the new-found clarity, in which he was able to view Caspian’s character, made him think that maybe Edmund would have been a better ruler. After all, how could a leader have so much self-doubt? Caspian’s weakness was a danger to the kingdom. Edmund was once again reminded of Caspian’s inability to kill Miraz. A king had to be cruel sometimes. Without cruelty there would be no justice. More than that, a king had to be sure of his decisions. It was only when he saw the people follow Caspian into the battle they were most likely to never return from, that he realized how wrong he was. Caspian’s weakness did not touch others. It was his burden and his alone, but the fear of his crew, he took that as his burden also. Caspian seemed surprised at the bravery of his men caused by his words. Edmund didn’t feel envious of him. He felt proud._

_The moment he understood what exactly he felt for the king, was when they met Ramandu’s daughter. Now, he didn’t know that much about stars, but he knew they possessed the charm able to sway any man or woman. Lucy seemed more or less unaffected, so he felt ashamed how easily it worked on him. It took a while to cast off the spell, but when he managed, he was surprised to see that Caspian did not. When the king told the star he wished to see her again, Edmund recognized in himself the stirrings of jealousy._

_He didn’t have much hope of being seen in the same way by Caspian, but even so, Caspian’s words about thinking of him as his brother shattered him. He reminded himself that Caspian was an orphan, that family, something that was always there for Edmund, he could only find in him and his siblings. If Caspian needed a brother, then a brother Edmund would be. There was a moment on the ship, when Caspian helped him to stand, holding his arms tightly and looking into his eyes with so much emotion, that Edmund couldn’t help but think this was not a way one looked at one’s brother. He had to quickly disregard it, because of the chaos of the battle._

_Caspian’s voice was the thing that helped him overcome the seduction of the witch this time. However much her spirit could promise him, she never offered him the thing he wanted more than power. Only Caspian could._

_When they were returning from the meeting with Aslan, knowing already what they felt for each other, Edmund asked Caspian about that moment in the cabin. Caspian said it felt too intimate and the only way to dispel it, was to convince Edmund that he thought of him in familial terms. When Edmund inquired as to why he would do that, the king answered that he was sure he would have to say goodbye to Edmund again and that the certainty of having his affection reciprocated would make it impossible to bear. Edmund understood._

Now, he was laying fuming on his bed, angry at the person he should be the happiest with. The anger didn’t make him love this man any less, but it made the hurt and the betrayal of being lied to, so much more real. Damn Caspian! If he wanted to wait fifty years for them to have sex, fine, Edmund will wait. But it didn’t mean he wasn’t going to put up a fight.


	3. Chapter 3

For a fortnight Edmund managed to somehow avoid Caspian. As much as he could of course, they were still both needed when it came to matters of state, but the times were peaceful and Caspian didn’t really need him to listen to more mundane problems. Edmund busied himself with the reconstruction of Cair Paravel, as it was still pretty much far from what it was supposed to be and only he knew what it looked like in its greatest. There was a lot of work and it helped to keep his mind away from how much he wanted to be in Caspian’s presence again.

 

Caspian seemed to understand Edmund’s need for space and mostly left him to his own devices. Edmund suspected it was not all that it was, and that the king himself needed to ponder some decisions. At least it seemed so, for he heard the cooks talk about how their beloved king lost his appetite. With Caspian it usually meant he was focusing all his attention on some problem.

 

Therefore, Edmund had no reason to expect Caspian to suddenly enter his chamber in the early morning hours with an excited air around him.

 

“Forgive me, Edmund, for waking you.” He didn’t seem very apologetic, but Edmund was way too sleepy to remember they were in the middle of silent treatment, or whatever it was they were doing.

 

“It’s fine. Did something happen?”

 

“Drinian returned from his travels. He brings news from Samay Island.”

 

“Did they agree to our terms?”

 

“They will, but they request the presence of the king of Narnia in signing the papers. Drinian already started preparations. We will sail tomorrow morning.”

 

“We?”

 

“We are both kings of Narnia, are we not?”

 

“But shouldn’t one of us stay? To look after the kingdom.”

 

Caspian sat on the side of his bed, looking for signs of being unwelcome. Fool he was to think Edmund would ever not welcome him in his bed.

 

“Cornelius did a great job as my regent when I was away before. Besides, we will be gone for less then a month. Or do you not wish to go?”

 

Even if Edmund tried to lie, there was no way Caspian wouldn’t notice it. They shared the love of the sea and voyages. Being in a palace all the time suited neither of them. Edmund could just sigh.

 

“Of course I wish to go.”

 

The moment they left the harbor and Edmund felt the strong ocean wind on his face, his mind started to calm. The Dawn Treader felt more like home to him than even Cair Paravel did. Caspian’s face mirrored his. When he turned his gaze on Edmund his eyes held joy. Edmund concluded he must have come to a decision, but what, and on which subject, he had no choice but to wait until, if, the other decided to tell him.

 

This time there was no Lucy, and so Caspian could sleep in his cabin. Edmund was not sure where his place was, but when the time came for them to rest, Caspian motioned for him to follow. An additional hammock was placed inside.

 

“You prefer the bed or the hammock?” Caspian asked him, starting to take of his vest.

 

‘Wherever you’re sleeping is fine’ Edmund thought, but decided to keep their equilibrium for now.

 

“The hammock.”

 

“Great.”

 

Caspian seemed to think about something and then moved closer to Edmund. The sudden nearness and the smell of the sea that Caspian’s skin emitted almost made Edmund dizzy.

 

“Is this all right?” Caspian asked searching Edmund’s eyes. “Can we talk again?”

 

“Yes. But just so you know I’m -“

 

Edmund was cut of by the sudden press of lips on his that ended far too quickly.

 

“-still angry at you.” He ended in a much weaker voice than he intended.

 

Caspian had the nerve to smirk at him. At least the mirth in his eyes seemed to signify an interesting journey.

 

There’s only so much time Caspian can stop him from asking questions with surprise kisses. That time is apparently three days, because, damn that dark eyed devil, he sure had good instincts. 

 

“So, what have you decided?”

 

Edmund had to physically hold Caspian away from him to not let that conversation be side-tracked again. Somehow, he felt Caspian had way too much fun with this.

 

“About what?” Caspian was playing innocent without any conviction.

 

“About our wedding, Caspian. Don’t think I will forget about everything with a couple sweet kisses.”

 

Caspian smirked but stepped back from his ready-to-pounce position.

 

“Come with me.” He said and Edmund followed him up onto the deck.

 

Caspian talked to one member of the crew and a moment later Edmund had to sharpen his senses because Caspian threw a sword to him. He was himself holding his own sword in hand.

 

“King Edmund, I challenge you to an Ushuk.”

 

Edmund couldn’t believe his ears. Ushuk was an ancient Narnian tradition, used widely in times before he and his sibling ruled Narnia. Now, only Minotaurs and some of the talking beasts followed it. It was a traditional contest between suitors that let the winner dictate the rules of the relationship up to the day after the joining.

 

“Caspian? What do you mean?”

 

“If you want to decide when we are going to get married you have to defeat me. The loser is the one that ends up on the ground and stays there. Do you accept my challenge and the way it is to be undertaken?”

 

Edmund was never one to back up from a fight.

 

“I do.”

 

… and he lost. Well, technically it was more of a draw as none of them ended up on the ground and both had a blade by the throat at the end. Still, it changed nothing and Edmund was not going to let it stay that way.

 

He challenged Caspian every day, again and again, and every day it ended in some kind of stalemate. That way they arrived on the Samay Island. It’s ruler, Borabar, was a curious sort of magician, descended from a nymph and a human. The whole island was an interesting sight, especially at night, when every tree glowed bright in a different shade from its neighbor.

 

Borabar was a powerful wizard, but rather peaceful. Edmund was on his guard, but the formalities were executed without problem and from that they passed to a magnificent feast prepared by Borabar’s wife. It lasted long into the night and at one moment Edmund noticed the king was not by his side.

 

He found Caspian far from the feasting crowd, sitting against a short tree with a bluish glow.

 

“You tired already, Caspian? Your years finally catching up with you?”

 

“Very funny, Edmund. If I seem so ancient to you, why can’t you seem to defeat me?” Caspian cut back.

 

“Alcohol makes you mean, my dear. That’s enough for you tonight.” Edmund sat by him, taking out a glass from his hands and finishing it himself.

 

The sounds from the feast almost didn’t reach them, while the sound of the waves lulled them. Edmund felt Caspian’s head rest heavily on his shoulder.

 

“You asleep, Caspian?”

 

“Mmhm.”

 

“I love you, you know.”

 

Caspian stirred against his shoulder.

 

“I know.”

 

“Whatever you tell me, won’t change it. So if there was a reason you didn’t want us to get married, you can speak to me about it.”

 

“I want for us to get married, I just …”

 

“Just what?”

 

“I was afraid.”

 

“Of me?”

 

“No!” Caspian raised his head and met Edmund’s eyes. “I was afraid because … what I feel for you, it’s sometimes too much.”

 

“Too much?”

 

“It’s overwhelming. I sometimes feel as if my heart cannot take any more of it. It clouds my judgement and that’s why I wanted to ask Cornelius for his opinion. Because it’s impossible for me to tell. I can’t really explain it very well.”

 

“It’s alright, I think I’m starting to understand it a bit. Why then, did you challenge me to an Ushuk?”

 

“I think fighting is a good way for us to find a compromise. That is, if you can defeat me.”

 

“I’m starting to doubt that.”

 

“Maybe-“ Caspian started to say and suddenly he was very close and on Edmund’s lap, for which Edmund was definitely unprepared “You just need a little incentive.”

 

He kissed Edmund in a way that was, for him, unusually aggressive. His tongue and hands, Edmund could somehow survive, but the moment he started moving his hips lightly against his, he lost all control. Caspian started it, damn him if he left from it untouched.

 

Eventually, they had to part a little to breathe, a task that was much more difficult than a few minutes ago.

 

“God, Caspian, are you trying to kill me?” Edmund said panting against his lips.

 

Before he could taste them again, Caspian stood up. Edmund definitely underestimated his king’s capacity to resist alcohol. However much he tried, he couldn’t stop them from separating.

 

“If you win, I am yours.” Caspian said sweetly and left him alone against the tree.

 

Edmund did not realize before that his fiancé was a demon.

 

They left the island the next day, and once they were on the open sea Edmund didn’t wait even a moment before challenging Caspian.

 

The king’s incentive seemed to work somehow, because the mix of feelings, Edmund’s rage, his lust, his love, seemed to all mingle into some weird energy that allowed him to throw out Caspian’s sword from his hand. He didn’t wait for the king to raise up the sword again and instead let go of his own and tried to wrestle Caspian onto the ground.

 

It was hard to lay down someone heavier than yourself and so they struggled for a long time before Edmund managed to distract Caspian long enough to trip him up with his ankle.

 

When they fell on the ground he immobilized Caspian’s hands and legs as much as he could. He was sure the king could still try to throw him off but for some reason he felt him relax.

 

“Congratulations, Edmund. You won.”

 

The deafening cheer of the crew was heard, but Edmund could only focus on the smiling man under him.

 

“I won?”

 

“Yes. I give you the right to dictate the rules of our engagement. When do you want the wedding to take place?”

 

“You know if I could I would marry you right now.”

 

For some reason Caspian smiled even wider.

 

“Actually…” Caspian looked to the side and Edmund followed his gaze to Drinian.

 

“As the captain I have the right to officiate marriages amongst my crew.” Drinian helpfully provided, smirking a bit himself.

 

Edmund was overwhelmed. He looked dawn on Caspian, still caged under him and saw him smirk. He planned all of this! Edmund didn’t know if he should be happy or angry.

 

“So, what do you say, Edmund? Ready to marry me?”

 

“Are you?” he asked, fearing the answer.

 

“There’s nothing in the world I want more.”

 

When Edmund said he didn’t care about marriage and that it was not special and other stupid things like that he clearly didn’t think about it seriously enough. Now, as he was standing before Caspian, after they washed and changed into more elegant, though still practical, clothes, he felt as if his heart was going to stop. The sky was already dark and the lamps gave Caspian’s face a golden hue. He looked more beautiful than Edmund ever saw him. This man would be his. Somehow, Edmund still could not believe it.

 

When they vowed to be with each other forever and Drinian pronounced their souls joined in the name of Aslan, Edmund didn’t predict that these few simple words would make everything suddenly different. He always thought of marriage as empty formalities.

 

This was not. He felt as if his world suddenly changed. This confused feeling did not leave him throughout the joyous but humble sailors’ celebration. It did not leave him when it all ended and he was alone with his husband in their cabin.

 

It hit him right then that he had no idea what to do.

 

_The first time he was made aware that men may feel for each other what he was taught existed only between a man and a woman was shortly after he became the king of Narnia along with his siblings. Lucy and Peter were away from the castle visiting their subjects further down the Great River, and so only him and Susan remained to look after matters of state._

_Thank gods Susan was with him on that day. When his loyal subject Hephaestion, a centaur that proved his bravery on the battlefield, approached him with another centaur he did not recognize and asked for the honor of ‘the king performing their marriage ceremony’ only Susan cut him of when, confused, he started saying ‘but you’re both-‘. She told them he would be happy to and took him to the side._

_“Susan, what the hell?”_

_“You would have offended them with your words.”_

_“But they are both-“_

_“Men. I know, Edmund.”_

_“How is that possible?”_

_“Edmund, I know this may be a completely new concept to you. In our world children are not exactly made aware that these cases exist.”_

_“And you’re alright with it all?”_

_“Even if we are rulers, we must follow the customs of Narnians. I studied the law here. Such union is against neither law nor custom. Centaurs are our most prized allies and loyal followers of Aslan. Whatever you may think, you must do them the honor and perform the wedding.”_

_Through the years spent in Narnia it became normal to him. He still remembered Peter’s initial reaction, when he was the one asked to bless a similar union and this time Edmund had to calm the ‘magnificent king’ before he said something rash. Differently from him, Peter was aware of such preferences in their world. It was easier to explain to someone who did not know it, than to someone who was taught it was a sin. All of Edmund’s and Susan’s diplomatic abilities seemed in vain, and in the end it was Lucy that berated Peter enough to make him embarrassed to criticize it. With years, even Peter forgot how weird it was for him at the beginning._

_When they returned to England, Edmund caught himself looking for signs of men attracted to other men. He liked guessing which one of the crowd could be like that._

_He always did love books, and so he looked for such romances anywhere he could. He found traces of it in the Bible, but the way it was spoken about didn’t make him warm up to religion. There were mentions in myths and history books, and these, while easy to find, weren’t exactly explicit._

_At first he didn’t realize that this obsession said something about himself. Not until he started reading other books like ‘The Sins of the Cities of the Plain’, ‘The Garden God’ or ‘Teleny’, books that were harder to find and that described relations between men in more detail. Some of those books were disgustingly perverted but others … from others he had reoccurring and embarrassing dreams._

_A school for boys was a place where he could experiment. There weren’t that many people he liked, but he did eventually find a boy he felt an inkling of something with. That inkling turned into kisses in the shadow of the school building. Unfortunately, someone found them. For better or for worse it was Peter. After Narnia, his brother followed its lessons, so he did not look at him with disgust. He did, however, look at him with worry. Edmund had to swear to be more careful._

_He didn’t really do anything remotely sexual with other people until his return from Narnia the second time. Somehow, it made him less cautious and more impatient. But it was hard to find boys that he wanted to do anything with, and even harder to find boys who had courage for anything more than a little bit of fun with their hands. In the end, his experience was very limited when he returned to Narnia for the third time._

“Edmund? You with me?” Caspian was standing before him, at once closer and further than Edmund was comfortable with.

 

“Yes, I’m just…”

 

“What? A little overwhelmed?” The king asked smiling in an infuriating, but not mean way.

 

“It’s all right, you know. If you’re tired we can just-“

 

This time Edmund cut him off with a kiss.

 

“I’m not tired.” He said looking deep into Caspian’s eyes.

 

He found no hesitation there.

 

“Good.”

 

He leaned in to give his new husband another kiss but he was apparently too slow.

 

“Come to think of it” Caspian said putting distance between them “I’ve got a present for you.”

 

As he rummaged through a drawer Edmund had a perfect view of his body. Why were there so many clothes? Why haven’t they get rid of those yet? Caspian was perfectly capable of looking for things naked. Edmund wouldn’t have minded.

 

“Here” Caspian said giving him a bottle with an oily substance inside.

 

“What is that?” No one can judge Edmund for his slow thinking when he had this particular man so close to him.

 

“Are you really going to make me say it?”

 

At Edmund’s questioning look Caspian sighed and leaned in closer to his ear.

 

“I want you inside.” He whispered.

 

It clicked. More than that, Edmund felt electrified. However much rum Caspian drunk tonight, it sure gave him some courage. He started kissing Edmund’s neck and taking off his overcoat.

 

To be honest, Edmund did not expect that. Caspian never gave any indication that he was ready for big steps, and Edmund always thought it was more than that stupid tradition of not doing anything before marriage. He suspected that, when Caspian finally agreed to have sex, they would start slow. Maybe with hands and mouths first. Even if he was ready, Edmund thought he would be the first to allow the other entrance, then gradually show him how much pleasure it could bring.

 

This was definitely not something he would have guessed. Not that he didn’t welcome surprises.

 

“I thought I was going to dictate the rules?” He said, half-jokingly.

 

Caspian bit his ear lightly.

 

“I’m open to suggestions. I simply wanted to save us the time in which you would have gathered the courage to ask. That is, if you had the courage.”

 

“Are you calling me a coward?”

 

He wanted to show the king how much ‘courage’ he had when it came to this, but he was suddenly empty handed and the other was few steps away from him. God, Caspian liked to do that. He was a natural tease.

 

Edmund couldn’t really complain. Caspian was smirking, but he also started taking off his own clothes, taking a step back every time Edmund tried to approach him, which brought them to the edge of the bed. Edmund helped him get rid of his trousers and Caspian repaid him in kind. Then, he pulled him onto the bed and backed himself against the pillows.

 

“Well? Show me then.” He taunted Edmund.

 

He caught Caspian’s leg and pulled so that he would lay more on the bed and leave his legs open. He covered his fingers with the oil and hesitated. The next stop was going to be … problematic. He knew from experience Caspian will not feel good right away.

 

He positioned his finger and slowly started pushing it inside, all the while observing Caspian’s face, a bit obscured by one of the pillows his beloved picked up to shield himself a bit, from the cold or from his gaze, Edmund wasn’t sure.

 

Moving his finger he could see that Caspian was uncomfortable.

 

“Does it hurt?” Edmund asked, more to dispel the awkward silence than anything.

 

“No, but …”

 

“It doesn’t feel good either?”

 

Caspian shook his head.

 

“Maybe you should just put it in?”

 

“Really? You think that with something bigger it will magically be better?”

 

Caspian reddened a little.

 

“Do you want me inside so bad?”

 

Edmund couldn’t see Caspian’s expression, because he covered his face with a pillow.

 

“… yes.”

 

Maybe talking wasn’t such a good idea after all. Now, Edmund was getting less patient.

 

“Don’t worry, it will feel good in a bit.”

 

“How do you know?” The voice from under the pillow asked.

 

“Oh, because I did it before.”

 

“With who?” Caspian suddenly uncovered his face.

 

He seemed jealous. Edmund fought with himself, but decided it was better to not let him be insecure any longer.

 

“Nobody. Only myself.”

 

“Really?”

 

“Yeah. I like to experiment a little.”

 

Caspian calmed down, getting his pillow back on his chin. Curiously, his previously half-interested cock was getting fuller.

 

“Did you ever think of me? While doing it?”

 

“I did. Even before our adventure on the Dawn Treader your face stubbornly appeared in my private time.”

 

Yes, definitely getting fuller.

 

“Oh, so it is my face that you like?”

 

“Of course that’s not it. But there is no denying that you are the handsomest man I saw in my life. Every man on this ship is so jealous imagining what I’m doing to you right now.”

 

“Ah!”

 

“Oh, is all this talk getting you excited?”

 

“Yes, but also that place-“

 

Edmund was already up to the task. Now, Caspian didn’t look so much uncomfortable, as embarrassed. At least that much Edmund could see before the king covered his face with a pillow once again.

 

He touched that place again and again and, judging from the sounds Caspian tried to stifle with the pillow, he was finally doing a decent job. He added a second finger and Caspian started shivering uncontrollably.

 

“Ed, this is – ah – this might be bad.”

 

“What do you mean? Does it feel bad?”

 

“No – mmm – it feels-“

 

“Does it feel good?”

 

Not that Edmund didn’t know the answer to that question, but it would still be nice to hear it.

 

“It feels … good.” Caspian finished with the quietest voice possible.

 

Edmund started putting in the third finger but Caspian suddenly caught his wrist.

 

“No, Edmund, I will …”

 

Edmund kissed his brow and took off the hand holding his wrist.

 

“It’s fine, Caspian. You can come.”

 

Caspian allowed him to put the fingers back and a moment later he was coming. He stifled most of the noises with the pillow. Shame.

 

So, of course, the very next thing Edmund did was to take away the pillow. The view that welcomed him was … something. Caspian was panting, face partially covered with his long hair. He was still shivering and unable to look directly at Edmund. In a word, he looked completely wrecked.

 

See, Edmund was planning to let Caspian rest a bit. Get a breath. He really was. But how was he supposed to, when such a view was before him with open legs and half-mad eyes?

 

Caspian didn’t really object when he put the pillow under his ass and only seemed to realize what was going on when Edmund started coating his own cock with the oil.

 

“Wait, Edmund, you can’t be –“

 

“You wanted me inside, did you not?”

 

“Yes, but …” He started getting another pillow from under his head but Edmund’s hand stopped him.

 

“No more pillows. You will suffocate.”

 

“If I die, it will because my heart explodes.”

 

Edmund chuckled.

 

“No, Edmund.” He reached for Ed’s hand and put it on his chest. “Feel that? It’s beating too fast. I might really die.”

 

“It’s alright” he put Caspian’s hand over his own heart that had a similar crazy rhythm “We will die together.”

 

The tightness and heat of Caspian around him almost made him come right away. He stilled himself, letting Caspian adjust and kissing his scrunched forehead.

 

When he started to move he tried to be slow. Not that it worked for long. Caspian was getting hard again. He was making more noises, now that his mouth wasn’t covered with a pillow.

 

Edmund had a problem between focusing on his tempo and looking at Caspian’s expression. The king tried to cover his face with hands but Edmund shoved them away. He was starving for every sign of pleasure. He didn’t want to miss any of it.

 

Caspian wasn’t making it easy, with his head turned to the side and his hair across his cheek, Edmund couldn’t see much.

 

“Look at me.” His voice sounded foreign even in his own ears.

 

Caspian turned and opened his eyes a little. There were tears in them.

 

“Does it hurt?” Edmund asked, a little worried.

 

“It – ah – it’s – that place.” Caspian didn’t seem to be able to form coherent massages “That place … harder – mm- hit it harder.”

 

If Edmund tried to hold himself back before, he sure as hell stopped in that moment. Complying with Caspian’s request he also went deeper, putting the king’s leg over his shoulder.

 

Caspian opened his eyes fully and let out a shout. His spine went all the way up from the bed.

 

He started moving his hips desperately with Edmund now, letting out sounds that were between sobs and moans.

 

He was loud. Edmund didn’t know if he should be proud or embarrassed that half the ship probably heard them. He knew how the king was going to feel about that in the morning.

 

Mercifully, he put his lips over Caspian’s, more covering than kissing. Kissing was too complicated. He felt Caspian coming. The king screamed right into his mouth.

 

When he freed his lips, Caspian looked at him.

 

“Come inside me.”

 

That was it. Few moves and Edmund was orgasming, so on edge he understood why Caspian feared death.

 

He somehow managed to get up after about ten minutes of rest and silently wash himself and his sleeping companion with a cloth. He was asleep moments after.

 

Waking up with your beloved was a beautiful experience.

 

… at least that’s what he has heard. People definitely didn’t take into consideration Caspian’s terrible legs. Edmund was kicked out of the bed twice. He had bruises all over. He didn’t hesitate to inform Caspian of this right after he woke up.

 

“Serves you right, _husband_.” Caspian answered with mirth. “You did what you pleased with me yesterday.”

 

“You asked me to!”

 

“I didn’t know it would feel like that.”

 

“Like what?”

 

Caspian hid his face up to his nose under the duvet. He should really stop doing that. At least his eyes were visible.

 

“You were … kind of amazing, you know?” Caspian said quietly, but didn’t avert his gaze.

 

“Was I?” Edmund smiled at him. “I guess I was. I mean, judging by the sounds you made the whole crew must think that.”

 

Caspian groaned “Was I that loud? That damn rum!”

 

“Yeah, sure, it was the ‘rum’s’ fault.”

 

“Don’t make fun of me. You’re going to be screaming soon enough yourself.” Caspian said, irritated, but he put his head on Edmund’s shoulder placidly.

 

“Can’t wait.”

 

They laid like this for a while drifting in and out of sleep. Suddenly, a previously unnoticed problem arrived in his mind.

 

“Caspian?”

 

“Hmm?”

 

“Which room are we going to sleep in when we’re back home? Yours or mine?”

 

“Oh, I’m not sure. But we still have about three months to make that decision.”

 

Cold dread made Edmund rise up.

 

“What do you mean?”

 

“Well, our wedding is in three months.”

 

“Our wedding was yesterday, Caspian. Were you really that drunk?”

 

“No, of course I remember. But you know how our subjects would feel if they found out they missed our wedding. It would be horrible for them.”

 

“Can’t we at least move it to an earlier date?”

 

“Sorry, everything is already in preparation for that day and the guests are already invited.”

 

Edmund sighed and fell back on the bed. Three months without touching Caspian? Now that he already knew what it felt like? This was going to be torture.

 

“You did say once that you would marry me a thousand times. Two isn’t that much in comparison.”

 

“I know but … Can I visit you in secret? It would not be breaking the tradition if nobody saw us and your conscience can be clear.”

 

Caspian seemed to think it over.

 

“Hmm, we will see. For now, I suggest we use our time here.”

 

“Oh, I definitely will.”

 

Edmund pounced.  

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm ... so sorry. It's really hard to check mistakes by yourself, just so you know.


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